Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"President Obama made a big speech. He welcomed the members of the U.N. General Assembly to New York, and he said, 'I'd like to encourage you to do some shopping while you're here.' I think it worked because China immediately bought eight banks, two car companies, and the state of Wyoming." --Conan O'Brien

"While he's in New York for the U.N. conference, Libyan dictator Muammar Qaddafi is traveling with an entourage of 50 attractive female bodyguards. The guards are there in case Qaddafii gets attacked or in case he wants to make a music video from 1985." --Conan O'Brien

"According to The New York Times, Manuel Zelaya, the recently deposed president of Honduras, he's holed up with supporters who don't bathe, eat only rice and beans and one guy who hasn't changed his Che Guevara T-shirt in days. So apparently, Manuel Zelaya is holed up in my freshman dorm room." --Conan O'Brien

"Health officials are now saying that the swine flu could be spread at college keg parties. They say if you attend a keg party and come home feeling numb and vomiting profusely, you're probably fine." --Conan O'Brien

"Federal authorities have issued a flurry of bulletins warning that sports stadiums, entertainment complexes, hotels, motels, apartment buildings, and transit systems could be targets of terrorist attacks. Well thanks for narrowing it down." --Jay Leno

"And did you see the pictures of the tent in Trump's backyard? The tent is an ingenious design. It's supported by a rather intricate architectural network and foundation of fiberglass poles. It's the same thing that supports the deal on Donald Trump's head." --David Letterman

David Letterman's Top Ten Questions To Ask Yourself Before Spending $63,500 On Dinner With Sarah Palin: #1."Will I be done in time to get to the 'Fire Dave' rally?"