Late Night Political Jokes Updated

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"The President spoke about some of the scare tactics that are being used to fight healthcare reform. And I tell you, some of them are pretty scary. Like, have you seen this new commercial where this older couple gets mailed a box from Liberty Medical and it's got Wilford Brimley's head in it?" --Jay Leno

"Yet another family values Republican has been caught in a sex scandal. I love this story: This time, California Assemblyman Mike Duvall (the guy is married) was caught on tape bragging having sex with two different lobbyists. A politician having sex with two lobbyists. Now, I'm not a mathematician, but I believe that's a total of 3 whores, right?" --Jay Leno

"And according to the Wall Street Journal, Wal-Mart will now pay its workers in the United States electronically. I mean, it'll still be in pesos, but electronic." --Jay Leno

"President Obama, of course, hard at work, traveling the country, selling his healthcare plan. He's going everywhere. This weekend, in Minnesota, President Obama spoke about healthcare reform, and he warned Americans not to be tricked by scare tactics. Then someone yelled out, 'What do you call sending a black man to Minnesota?'" --Conan O'Brien

"Osama bin Laden released a new 11-minute audio tape, where he calls President Obama powerless in the war in Afghanistan. Well, that was the first six minutes. He gave Taylor Swift the last five to finish her acceptance speech." --Jimmy Fallon

"This Saturday in Washington, over 70,000 people protested because they think President Obama is trying to shove government healthcare down their throats; also known as the 'Serena Williams option.'" --Jimmy Fallon