Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I know why you're happy tonight. Because after all these months of seeing these tea baggers hold up signs of Obama with the Hitler mustache painted on, we have proof now that Obama isn't Hitler. Because when Hitler tried to get the Olympics he got it." --Bill Maher

"Well, let's be big about it. Congratulations to the citizens of Rio de Janeiro. They spent all day today partying, doing the samba in the streets with the breasts hanging out and then they heard about the Olympics and then they were even more thrilled." --Bill Maher

"With the Olympic Committee, it came down to one simple question -- where do you want to go to spend your summer vacation? The land where super models invented bikini wax? The land where fat guys invented deep dish pizza?" --Bill Maher

"A producer for '48 Hours' was arrested Thursday for attempting a stupid human trick. It was reported that the blackmailer was saying he was going to reveal embarrassing details about Letterman's life. For instance, after sex he would say, 'Stay tuned for Craig Ferguson.'" --Seth Meyers

"Experts say this $5 billion project of President Obama's could lead to the development of dozens of life-saving medical treatments that your insurance company could one day turn you down for." --Jay Leno

"But now, Obama is in Copenhagen. He's trying to get the Olympics in Chicago, while Iran is getting ready to nuke the world. This could explain Obama's new Secret Service code name, 'President Bush.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Sarah Palin's new autobiography doesn't come out until November, but it is already No. 1 on Amazon. And if you go to the website, it says, 'People who bought this book also bought no other books in their entire life.'" --Jimmy Fallon