Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"The Dow hit 10,000 this week, everybody! For the first time since the market collapse. And people were so excited, they took to the streets to celebrate, which is easy because so many of them live there." --Bill Maher

"A new study shows that the phrase most often used by president Obama is, 'Let me be clear.' The phrase he uses the least often? 'Let me be specific.'" --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, President Obama was in New Orleans. A little boy asked President Obama, 'Why do people hate you?' Then the little boy turned to Joe Biden and said, 'I know why people hate you.'" --Conan O'Brien

"A new survey found that the average man cries about six times a year. That average would be a lot lower if it weren’t for Glenn Beck." --Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama announced that he wants to give senior citizens $250. Has this been the greatest year for Brett Favre or what?" –Jay Leno

"One of the top-selling costumes this Halloween is a vampire version of President Obama called Barackula. Not so popular, Congressman Barney Frankenstein." –Conan O'Brien

"California First Lady Maria Shriver has apologized for being caught using her cell phone while driving. She texted an apology while driving a school bus."

"It's not a great day for old folks. Today, the Social Security Administration announced there will be no cost of living increase for senior citizens. Social Security is the government's most popular program. A couple of years ago, President Bush wanted to privatize Social Security and put all the money in the stock market. That would have worked out. That would be like hiring Michael Vick to look after your dog!" –Craig Ferguson

"Republicans are now planning to filibuster President Obama's healthcare plan. You know, it is a legislative device. A guy gets up and talks all night without really saying anything. It's like having dinner with Regis." –David Letterman