"President Obama is traveling to Asia this week. He'll be making a trip to China. While he's there, Obama plans to visit the Forbidden City, the Great Wall, and America's money." –Conan O'Brien
"Big news, Lou Dobbs announced on his show last night that he was leaving CNN. No word on where Dobbs is going to go next, but I think we can all rule out Telemundo." –Jimmy Fallon
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