Man loves nipples so much that he has had them tattooed in his bum

"man loves nipples so much that he has had them tattooed on his BUM."

"They were originally modelled on Lily Allen's boobs but we had a look in a men's magazine and there was a girl called Rebecca from Bournemouth - they were the nicest ones I could find."

Well, lad, I hope you can stay out of jail.