Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Hey, remember that incident last week with the uninvited guests sneaking into the White House? You know something? The White House should have seen this coming. You know what the responsible agents were doing before White House security? Border guards." Jay Leno

"Oh, and some crime news in Chicago. Burglars broke into the office of former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich. Well, here's the amazing part. Prosecutors said there was still less criminal activity than when Blagojevich was there." Jay Leno

"Yesterday in Minnesota, a man was arrested because he threw two tomatoes at Sarah Palin during a book signing. Security immediately arrested the guy and gave him his own show on MSNBC." Conan O'Brien

"Hey, the 'Today' show was live from Afghanistan this morning. It went head-to-head with Afghanistan's number one morning show, 'Good Morning and Death to America.'" Jimmy Fallon

"A new study from Purina found that house cats spend about 22 percent of their days looking out windows, 12 percent of their days playing with other pets, 8 percent climbing on chairs and just 6 percent sleeping. The study also found that cats had the exact same schedule as Joe Biden." Jimmy Fallon