Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I was walking around today on my lunch hour, and I noticed that there are fewer sidewalk Santas this year. And then I remembered that President Obama sent the Salvation Army to Afghanistan." David Letterman

"You guys, listen to this. It turns out the Secret Service accidentally let another random couple into a private reception with Obama, which means at this point the White House is slightly less exclusive than the Burger King Kids Club." Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama says that Congress is very close to getting a new health care plan, but due to compromises, it 'won't include everything that everybody wants.' For instance, it covers everything except trips to the doctor or the hospital." Conan O'Brien

"President Obama has written a personal letter to North Korean dictator Kim Jong- Il, in an effort to improve relations. It may not work because the letter starts, 'Dear Mr. Girly Glasses.'" Conan O'Brien

"President Obama — this is an odd bit of news — he is going to appear on a WWE wrestling special. Clearly, he wants another one of them peace prizes." Craig Ferguson

"But Obama's taking this appearance seriously. He's been practicing by repeatedly hitting Joe Biden over the head with a folding chair." Craig Ferguson

"This, by the way, is the first time a president has participated in a wrestling event, if you don't count Bill Clinton's mud wrestling." Craig Ferguson