Other Crap

The Lessons We Learned from How Bad "Nine" Sucked

One lesson they could have learned before making the movie: people will assume that any movie with Kate Hudson will suck. Even if Nine had been the greatest film in the history of film, most people would look at the lobby poster card and think. "Oh, Kate Hudson ... er ... maybe we should see something more promising. How about Rambo XIV?" This is not to say that there is anything wrong with Kate Hudson. She's funny, talented, attractive, and by all accounts great fun to hang out with. It's just that she has an unerring eye for always choosing to appear in shit ever since her success in Almost Famous gave her the ability to make the choice. "____________ , starring Kate Hudson" is just about tantamount to a guarantee that _________ will be crap. It could be "Hamlet" starring Kenneth Brannagh, Kate Winslet, Daniel-Day Lewis and Judi Dench, featuring Nicol Williamson's comeback, with Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart as the gravediggers. It wouldn't matter. If Kate Hudson plays a ring-bearer, it will be crap. Of course, I like crap, hence the title of this blog, but many are not so favorably disposed.