Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Of course, a lot of people complaining that traveling here in the United States is a pain; we shouldn't have to go through a pat-down search. You think? Yeah, I mean, hey, when you go to a football stadium, they pat you down, right, huh? I mean, shouldn't the country be as least as hard to get into as a Cleveland Browns game?" Jay Leno

"And yesterday morning in Helsinki, Finland, a train crashed into a Holiday Inn. Here's the odd part. It was an Amtrak train from Connecticut." Jay Leno

"It's now been reported that Britain did pass information on to U.S. authorities about the attempted underwear bomber, but the U.S. disregarded it. In part, that's because the British intelligence referred to him as 'a bloke with boomzy-woomzy in his knickers.'" Conan O'Brien

"I was reading today that President Obama has started updating the Oval Office to reflect his personality, which basically just means he took down President Bush's autographed cast photo from the 'Dukes of Hazzard.'" Jimmy Fallon

"A lot of states are faced subzero temperatures this week. Everyone's taking precautions. In fact, airports are on the lookout for thermal underwear bombers." Jimmy Fallon

"You know, after the shoe bomber, they made us take off our shoes. Now, this underwear thing, could be a real problem." Jimmy Kimmel

"There's talk now we may have to go through these full body scanners, which would allow T.S.A. screeners to see us, not exactly naked, but close enough that every time Salma Hayek goes to the airport, there's going to be a line of guys in blue polyester blazers running to their posts." Jimmy Kimmel