Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"President Obama on Tuesday met with the heads of all 16 intelligence agencies try to correct the intelligence failures surrounding the Christmas day bombing attempt. Unfortunately, two of the agencies were late and the CIA locked their keys in the car." Seth Meyers

"Actually, you know, if they did cancel us, it would be an easy move for me because I still haven't unpacked from the last show they canceled." Jay Leno

"To be fair, NBC is working on a solution, they say, in which all parties will be screwed equally." Jay Leno

"President Obama was named most admired American. And I'm proud that my name is also on that list. It's a little farther down. I was right between Balloon Dad and Carrot Top" David Letterman

"While speaking about the war on terror yesterday, President Obama said, 'There is of course, no fool-proof solution. We have to stay one step ahead of our nimble adversary.' Nimble adversary? Sounds like somebody saw 'Sherlock Holmes' over the holiday." Jimmy Fallon

"President Obama also said, 'We are at war against al-Qaida, and we will do whatever it takes to defeat them.' Then Obama was like, 'Literally whatever it takes -- speeches, talks, speech talks, talks about speeches, speaking about the talk I just spoke about.'" Jimmy Fallon

"In Obama's defense, he is taking responsibility for the security lapse on Christmas. Obama said, 'Ultimately the buck stops with me.' Then he was like, 'Unless it's a billion bucks, in which case it just goes to AIG.'" --Jimmy Fallon