Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"$45 million to go home. That's a lot of money. I hear Haiti is trying to figure out how to get fired by NBC." Jimmy Kimmel

"I thought about something today. Over the years I've made a lot of fun of Ryan Seacrest, Larry King, Spencer Pratt, Geraldo, David Hasselhoff, Kirstie Alley and Donald Trump. And here's the messed up thing, they all still have shows." Conan O'Brien

"Well, in political news, the big upset. A Republican was elected to the U.S. Senate in Massachusetts, filling a seat once held by Ted Kennedy. So, this could tip the delicate balance of power in the U.S. Senate from the completely incompetent back to the morally corrupt." Jay Leno

"Well, this is pretty sleazy. According to Edwards' former aide, a guy named Andrew Young, he says in an upcoming interview that Edwards asked him to steal a diaper from the baby to do a DNA test. The test shows that both the diaper and John Edwards were full of the same substance." Jay Leno

"But you know, this Martha Coakley, the Democratic candidate was like two weeks ago, 20 points, ahead by 20 points. And she blew it, here's what happened. Apparently she was on the Patriots defense" David Letterman

"Well, today officially marks the beginning of President Obama's second year in office. Yeah, he has three years left, but NBC offered him $45 million to leave altogether." Jimmy Fallon