Screw You, Tiger!

"Screw You, Tiger!" ... What if people were free to talk the truth?

Y'know, I don't really agree with this "screw Tiger" stuff. I like watching him blast 350-yard drives, but he will continue to do that after all this blows over. It's just that people will now view him differently. So what? I don't give a marmoset's patoot where Tiger chooses to put his dick, and I'm not upset about him in any way. He's not Michael Vick. And he didn't force anyone to have sex with him. And he didn't hit anyone. He's just immature and horny. Big deal. What would you do have done if you were a rich and successful young man, and had access to gorgeous, lust-crazed women begging for your manhood all the time? I know what I probably would have done in Tiger's place because I made the same damned mistakes he made when I was his age, and I wasn't even Tiger Fucking Woods. If I had had his fame and money - the equivalent of a poontang ATM - my behavior would probably have made him seem as chaste as Francis of A-fucking-ssisi. I would have needed endorsement deals from Vaseline, Viagra and ChapStick just to get the free samples. I can't throw the first stone. Who among you is so sure you would have lived his life better than he did?

As I see it, nobody has a right to be upset with him except Elin and his sponsors. And how are they really harmed?

• She will either end up a gorgeous, rich divorcee or the wife of a fully repentant guy with a big ... er ... bankroll, who also happens to be one of the most successful athletes in history and one of the most famous people in the world, arguably THE most famous. One way or another, she'll emerge a winner. Her life will continue to be hundreds of times better than yours or mine, so it makes no sense for us to feel bad for her plight.
  
• I really don't care about the sponsors, but if I did, I'd note that they will probably continue to sell just as many tires, putters and jellybeans, while simultaneously cutting costs by not having to pay Tiger's huge endorsement fees. If they are really concerned with the family image, they can probably get Phil Mickelson for a sawbuck and a free bag of tees. So they can cry their crocodile tears on the bank of a different river.
  

Bottom line, Tiger ultimately hurt nobody but himself, and he will pay the price for that. He'll lose tens of millions of dollars per year in endorsements, which just means that the poor bastard will have to live on tens of millions of dollars per year instead of hundreds of millions.