Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck's complaints that critics of Arizona's immigration law have played the Nazi card: "Glenn Beck is offended! Glenn Beck thinks playing the Nazi card is going too far. Glenn Beck. this is a guy who uses more Swastika props and video of the Nuremberg rallies than the History Channel."

"It's 'Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon, except there's just one degree, and Kevin Bacon is Hitler. Can I play? Let's see. Mother Teresa had a mustache. Hitler had a mustache. Mother Teresa is Hitler!" –Lewis Black, on Glenn Beck's frequent use of Nazi analogies

"Well, the Senate today voted to toughen standards for home loans. Under these new standards, lenders would have to verify that borrowers can repay the loan. Let's just hope China doesn't adopt this." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin has a new book coming out called 'America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag.' Coincidentally, Faith and Flag are the names Palin picked out if she ever has twins." –Jimmy Fallon

"Police in Cairo have detained an American man who arrived on a flight from JFK with two handguns, 250 bullets, swords, daggers and knives in his luggage. When they heard this, JFK screeners were like, 'Sure he had all these things, but here's what he didn't have — bottled water or nail clippers.'" –Jimmy Fallon

"Prison inmates in Louisiana are now pitching in to clean up the Gulf Coast oil spill. At this point, the solutions have been dump chemicals in the ocean, shoot a bunch of garbage under water and release prisoners. If none of that works, they're going to have Al Qaeda come take a look at it." –Jimmy Fallon