Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

"Sarah Palin and President Bush have new books coming out this fall. You know what that means? This could plunge America into a huge crayon shortage." –Jay Leno

"Scientists say they have developed a car that can run on water. The only catch is, the water has to come from the Gulf of Mexico." –Jay Leno

"Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has begun to make the city more livable by demolishing 10,000 vacant homes. This will break the record for destroying homes, currently held by Countrywide Mortgage." –Jay Leno

"Desmond Tutu is from South Africa, which I think is a fantastic name for a country, because it tells you exactly where it is."

Scoop's notes:

• I understand that President Bush and Laura have matching biographies to hit the shelves this year. After rejecting other titles like "Pretzels Are Evil" because it was "too negatory," President Bush wanted to accentuate the positive and decided to call it "I Like Taffy." That placed a lot of pressure on Laura to call hers "My Husband Likes Taffy."
  
• Bush is actually writing a book about the key decisions of his life. The key one: Salt-Water or Turkish? He really likes Turkish better, but Cheney told him it was "too Moslem."
  
• I would have re-written the Detroit joke like this: "Detroit Mayor Dave Bing has begun to make the city more livable by demolishing 10,000 vacant homes. This will break the record for destroying homes, currently held by Rachel Uchitel."
  
• I watched Craig's interview with Tutu. I came away from it liking Tutu a lot. He's not only a great religious leader, but probably the only one in history named after a ballet accessory, unless you count the Avignon pretender Pope Leo the Tard.