Other Crap

Lindsay is staying in France

Perhaps France will just adopt her. She can be the Jerry Lewis of the 21st century.

Tyler: "Just 24 hours ago Lindsay Lohan was claiming she couldn’t get back to the United States (for her court date and alcohol abuse classes) because every flight was still packed after the volcanic ash delays last month. That lie was retarded (and simple to debunk), and so now I guess we’re starting over, because the new lie is ..."

Lohan's attorney: "Her passport was stolen. She is doing everything in her power to get a temporary passport and get home."

Tyler: "Apparently, the options Lohan has exhausted include partying on the French Riviera into the very early hours, kicking British pop stars out of clubs and flirting with the boyfriends of former costars."