Summary: Movies Opening This Week

ROTTEN TOMATOES: Movies Opening This Week

Jackass 3-D has not been submitted to critics in advance. No surprise there. Do you need Roger Ebert to tell you what's in this movie? I have not seen any previews, but I'm kinda suspecting that a film called Jackass 3-D is probably not a lost Tarkovsky film. And what could a critic say, anyway? "They don't get punched in the nuts quite as convincingly as in their previous efforts."

Red is an adaptation of a popular series of ... er ... "graphic novels." Looks promising. I think that if you wanted to create a comedy/action film, Bruce Willis would be your go-to guy, so I guess they did some good hiring. Morgan Freeman, Mary-Louise Parker, John Malkovich and Helen Mirren join Bruce in his customary efforts at blowing shit up and smirking. (That's not a negative remark. I'm a huge fan of Bruce Willis.) 85% positive reviews so far, and that probably makes it a good bet, because it got some good notices from all types of critics, from the fun-loving: "It's great fun, and if that sounds like damning with faint praise, you take things too seriously," to the pretentiously self-important ("Classiest. Comic. Book. Movie. Ever").

I Want Your Money is probably not going to get many good reviews, if any. It's a "Reagan good; Obama evil" documentary, so critics will hate it even if it is more ambitious than Andrei Rublyov, more touching than Schindler's list and more inspirational than Casablanca. (By the way, look for "More touching than Schindler's List and more inspirational than Casablanca" on the DVD box.)

N-Secure is another unreviewed film. This one is targeted at the African-American audience niche. "A no holds-barred thrilling drama mixed with murder, mayhem and manipulation among affluent professionals. This film sheds light on a man's downfall from the pinnacles of success into the depths of his damaged character. His insecurities lead him into a series of troubled romantic relationships and eventually a web of events that include betrayal and murder." Whatever.