My night at the foul-mouthed MTV Movie Awards

"My night at the foul-mouthed MTV Movie Awards"

"Even Reese Witherspoon said 'motherfucker.'"

Reese was correcting Pattinson on a joke he flubbed. Some years ago he was cast as Reese's son. This year he did a sex scene with his former mom, making him a "mother fucker." Pattinson managed to say "fuck" but he seemed to be reading his joke and flubbed the punch line, which Reese delivered when she came up to the stage. In context, it actually sounded very funny to hear sweet little Reese Witherspoon cussing. Best moment of the evening.

Twilight won pretty much every award, which made for an awkward night because that turned the evening into the Rob Pattinson Show, but neither Pattinson nor Kristin Stewart has any stage presence at all. These two are not exactly George Clooney in the sprezzatura department. They act like shy 8th graders who are forced to participate in the talent show. They shuffle their feet and fidget and look down, and neither one of them can deliver a complete sentence without reading it verbatim. They are so inarticulate they make Sarah Palin seem like the second coming of Churchill. Fortunately, Taylor Lautner accepted the group trophy for "best film," and he does have some charisma and star presence.

Best line of the night: Jim Carrey, introducing the Foo Fighters. "Foo can be pretty nasty stuff, so we should be glad there's someone out there fighting it."