Swedish queen under fire for giving kids some hootch

"Swedish queen under fire for giving kids wine"

Those Swedes sure know how to reward a trick or treater! And who knew that you could just knock on the door of the castle and the queen would answer? I wonder if she was wearing a bathrobe, with her hair in curlers.

OK, here's what the story is really about:

"The admission that the royal children were allowed a glass of wine at festive occasions, followed by Coca Cola, despite being under age, has sparked criticism from Swedish temperance campaigners."

This is shocking!

Not Coca-Cola!

Good thing I'm not a real Scandinavian king and only the King of Herring (Sildekongen). Nobody ever objects if I soak my subjects in booze.

If I had human subjects, my response to the Swedish temperance campaigners would be very intemperate indeed! C'mon, just let me be king for a day or two, and I'll clean things up. I think that some beheadings followed by a viking funeral would be excellent TV, and would serve as an excellent deterrent to future temperance crusaders and other busybodies.

The telecast would be sponsored by Robert Mondavi and Coca-Cola, of course. May as well balance the ol' Swedish budget while I'm in power.