The 4 Least Anticipated Movies of March 2013 | Cracked.com

The 4 Least Anticipated Movies of March 2013 | Cracked.com:

"InAPPropriate Comedy stars Rob Schneider and Lindsay Lohan, because apparently the film's producers thought that combining two of the biggest box office singularities in recent history would result in a polarity-reversing explosion showering them in millions of cocaine-dusted dollars soaked in strippers' tears."

The Host: "We realize there probably are people eagerly anticipating the release of Stephenie Meyer's latest "two mopey dudes compete over who gets to control a girl's life" epic. However, we are not anticipating another half-decade of terrible movies based on terrible books that one third of the Internet will insist are amazing, one third will make hackneyed jokes about, and one third will proudly announce without provocation or pretext that they have never seen, as if this makes them eligible for the Congressional Medal of Honor or the Trailblazing Individuality Award (we made one of those up). Andrew Niccol's previous efforts include S1m0ne, which is like watching the Zapruder film if Al Pacino's career had been sitting in the backseat of the presidential limousine. Adding supernatural melodrama to that rancid cake batter can only result in one of the worst experiences you could ever trade money for in a public setting."

Scoop's note:

Hey, let's be fair when dispensing scorn, shall we? Andrew Niccol's directorial career also includes one brilliant movie (Lord of War, which he also wrote) and one very good one (Gattaca, which he also wrote). In addition, he wrote The Truman Show, for which he was nominated for both an Oscar and a Golden Globe, and for which he WON the fucking BAFTA. OK, OK, I admit that this new film doesn't sound appealing, but Andrew Niccol is not a hack.