Tens of thousands of 'frenzied' sharks gather off coast of Sunshine State

Tens of thousands of 'frenzied' sharks gather off coast of Sunshine State

This is the largest gathering of soulless predators in Miami since the last meeting of the Florida Bar Association.

"That's 1,000 sharks per square kilometer. If you were a swimmer, you would probably be within 60 feet of a shark."

The end times are certainly near. The gathering of sharks follows the breaking of the second seal, as mentioned in the Book of Revelations, following last week's breaking of the first seal, after which Gonzaga ascended to #1 in college hoops.

(If those are not mentioned in your copy of the Book of Revelations, you probably have a bad translation. Please get the 2000th anniversary special edition DVD. And don't forget to check out the deleted scenes.)