The 2013 Earth Week Grand Champion Carbonator

The 2013 Earth Week Grand Champion Carbonator

"Alas, once again I had to overlook the impressive carbonating feats of my readers to acknowledge someone who, despite not sending in an official entry, set an intergalactic standard for mindless, in-your-face fuel consumption. That someone is President Obama, who becomes our first 2-time crown winner.

Bfore you send those "I wuz robbed" complaint emails, ask yourself this: did you fly a private 747 round trip to Chicago to deliver a 600 word, 20 minute speech touting....

[wait for it]

...energy conservation?"