Giant French Butt Plug Deflated by Prudish Vandals

The Jolly Green Giant's Butt Plug Deflated by Parisian Vandals

Is nothing sacred to those cynical French people?

Well, contrary to the headline's lurid claim, the vandals did not actually deflate the giant butt-plug blimp. They merely cut it loose from its moorings, whereupon the French Butt Plug Inspector-General looked on scornfully, puffed on some unfiltered Gauloises, contemptuously brushed some lint from his epaulets, and made an executive decision to abort the Behindenberg.

(Oh, if only Macy's had a sense of humor! What an addition to the Thanksgiving Day Parade.)