We sold Yazidi women and children as sex slaves because it's God's law says ISIS

We sold Yazidi women and children as sex slaves because it's God's law says ISIS

Not one of God's better laws, is it? Oh, that God! When he pulls one of his divine boners, it can really cause some zany problems. He's like the Gilligan of the Universe!

I love the illiterate first line in this article:

"Islamic State militants claim the capture, enslavement and sale of thousands of Yazidi women and children had been ordered by God in a magazine ..."

Who knew that God had his own magazine? It's called Honest to Me. He must be the second-most powerful being to publish a glossy, just behind Oprah. And he's got that pesky omniscience, so he can see when you throw away those annoying subscription cards that always fall out of the mag.

My favorite part of the mag is usually the centerfold, but last month they tried to broaden the appeal, so the centerfold was Moses holding his rod. Of course I really just buy it for the articles. Yeah, the articles, that's the ticket. And I really enjoy the "picks and pans" section, which is called "I Bless It / I Dammit."

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I wonder if God ever hangs around with Larry Flynt at those publishing conventions.