Genius scientists conclude: Rich people sleep better than poor people

Genius scientists conclude: Rich people sleep better than poor people

Poor people are supposed to be tired. It says so right on the Statue of Liberty:

"Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Oh, wait. Maybe the poor, the tired, and the huddled masses were supposed to be three separate groups

In that case, I have a solution. Change the immigration policy and ban the tired. Just scratch that part off the base of the statue.

We can keep taking the well-rested poor, because someone has to drive our cabs and pour our Slurpees.

We can keep the huddled masses, because without them we can't maintain our soccer leagues.

But we have to stop welcoming the tired.

For one thing, the tired are so damned irritable from lack of sleep. I mean, if they're so goddamned tired, let them stay in their own countries and take a nap before coming here. Our American napping infrastructure is already stretched to the limit, and I don't think it is fair to ask the American taxpayers to pay for additional cots and hammocks.