Vladimir Putin's 'girlfriend has given birth' -

Vladimir Putin's 'girlfriend has given birth'

"Citing local residents, Switzerland's Bick tabloid said on Friday that Mr Putin flew to Switzerland to be with Alina Kabaeva, his rumoured lover, as she went into labour at the private Clinic Sant'Anna near Lugano earlier this week."

"The reports that Miss Kabaeva, an Olympic-gymnast-turned-parliamentarian, checked into the clinic earlier this week could not be confirmed and the Kremlin last night denied that she had given birth."

They also denied that she was Putin's girlfriend, that she existed at all, and that they were indeed, the Kremlin. They also suggested that if anything was amiss, it could all be blamed on Chechens.

Finally, they asserted that they would have gotten away with everything if not for those meddling kids.