Britney Spears Squats for the Children –

Britney Spears Squats for the Children –

"Nobody knows what the Teen Choice Awards are. Nobody cared after Britney Spears showed up and squatted like a Russian grandma taking an alley dump in 1911. You’d have to be a qualified doctor to name all the parts Britney was displaying in her pop-up gynecological diorama. She was subsequently awarded six trophies for being a sex positive role model for girls and smartly distancing herself from Iggy Azalea musically. There’s a reason we don’t let teens decide shit in this society. Sour Patch kids are giving you diabetes. Check out Britney’s snatch, kids. Life never gets better."