Here Is the Court Filing In Which Ted Cruz Defended a Ban on Dildos

Here Is the Court Filing In Which Ted Cruz Defended a Ban on Dildos

Because the Texas Attorney General's office and the Travis County District Attorney have nothing more important to worry about.

It must be nice to live in a crime-free state. Makes me wonder why I ever left.

As they say, if dildos are outlawed, only outlaws will have dildos. Personally, I believe the only thing that can stop a bad guy with a dildo is a good guy with a (larger) dildo.

To be fair, Cruz had pretty much nothing to do with the matter. The job of his office was to defend the application of an existing Texas Law. That does not imply that he or anyone in his employ agreed with the law. Furthermore, Cruz did not write the state's brief. There's even a chance he never read it, given that he covered the entire state and the Lone Star State really did have bigger fish to fry than this crappie.

By the way, the Travis County District Attorney mentioned in the case was the legendary Ronnie Earle. Yup, that's the same Ronnie Earle who spent 60% of his time trying to send Republicans to jail, 20% denying that he was a partisan hack, and the remaining 20% in court getting his few successes overturned.

He once filed charges against Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, then Texas State Treasurer, for allegedly misusing state telephones and allegedly assaulting a staffer. Realizing that his evidence was inadmissible, Earle attempted to drop the charges at the pre-trial hearing, but the judge refused to allow it, insisting on a trial and instructing the jury to return a "not guilty" verdict so the charge could not be brought against her again.

Earle also filed charges against Tom DeLay many times. One of them finally resulted in a conviction, which was rejected so convincingly on appeal that the appeals court not only overturned the original verdict, but actually directed a "not guilty" verdict, issuing a statement that "there was no evidence" of any kind to support the jury's decision!

That shows you how completely incompetent Earle was. He could not ever prove that Tom Delay had done anything shady. That is approximately like failing to prove that Elton John is gay.

By the way ... just curious. What would wise, advanced alien visitors think of a culture in which selling all types of death-dealing firearms is completely legal, but selling harmless sex toys is not? No matter your position on the Second Amendment, you have to admit that would be baffling.