Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"According to the latest Reuters-Zogby poll, 10% of Americans are giving President Bush's economic policy the thumbs up. The other 90% [are] using a different finger." --Jay Leno

"John McCain spoke to the NAACP today. He went by his rap name, Ol' Cranky Bastard. No, he followed Barack Obama, who spoke there two days ago. McCain had to follow Barack Obama at the NAACP. That's like Wilford Brimley trying to follow Miley Cyrus at the Teen Choice Awards." --Jay Leno

"Did you see that Indymac Bank that collapsed here in California? All those poor people waiting in line -- my God. But the Feds say not to worry if your money's in a bank, because the government will guarantee it will be there. Remember, they also guaranteed WMDs and guaranteed New Orleans that FEMA would show up. Consider the source!" --Jay Leno

"In a speech yesterday, Barack Obama called for African-Americans to be better parents. Yeah. That's what he said. Obama said not all black children can be raised by Angelina Jolie. You have to do your part." --Conan O'Brien

"Barack Obama's two daughters are very excited, because I guess Barack Obama promised the kids that after the election he's going to get them a dog. That's the thing, they're all excited, he's going to get them a dog after the election. And the good news -- Jesse Jackson has offered to neuter it." --Jay Leno

"Well, President Bush did some research this past weekend, in order to better educate himself on whether or not to drill for oil in Alaska. He said he did technical research on the latest drilling technologies. Ok, he just went to see 'Journey to the Center of the Earth.'" --Jay Leno

"In a brand new interview, John McCain admits that his staff has to show him websites because he has trouble getting on the Internet by himself. That's what he said. Yeah, yesterday McCain tried to surf the Internet for half an hour before his staff told him he was actually holding an Etch-A-Sketch." --Conan O'Brien