"Santa Claus, as you know, has a plan to fly around the world to deliver toys to all the good little boys and girls. Unfortunately, it's being blocked right now by Joe Lieberman." Jimmy Kimmel
"Last night, Barack Obama hosted the first of two White House holiday parties for the press. It was a good time until Helen Thomas started hogging the karaoke machine and the only song she knew was 'Single Ladies.'" Jimmy Fallon
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