Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Jokes Updated

"People are kind of upset with British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when President Obama found out that Tony Hayward was on his yacht, he was so angry, he missed a putt." –David Letterman

"In his defense, Tony twittered that the oil spill was still his top priority. And I think you know that a guy really cares when he tweets from his yacht." –David Letterman

"Because of the success of 'Toy Story 3,' Pixar is now rushing ahead with its plans to do a sequel to one of its most popular movies, presented by BP. It's BP presents 'Try Finding Nemo Now.'" –Jay Leno

"Tony Hayward on a yacht. Where are those Somali pirates when you need them?" –Jay Leno

"Well, actually, I tell you, I think it's hurting him. President Obama is losing support from his own party over the way he's handling this BP situation. You want to know how bad it is, today, Jimmy Carter compared him to Jimmy Carter." –Jay Leno

"Sarah Palin has revealed she has tried marijuana, but she did not like it. You know, it's amazing: 200 million Americans have smoked marijuana. The only ones who don't like it seem to be elected officials." –Jay Leno

"President Obama also went to the White Sox-Nationals game this weekend and actually sang 'Take Me Out to the Ball Game.' However, critics were quick to point out that while his singing sounded good, it seemed like he really didn't say anything." –Jimmy Fallon

"And while Obama was playing golf, BP CEO Tony Hayward actually spent his weekend at a ritzy yacht race, where he watched his 52-foot yacht compete. If that's not bad enough, he was watching it from his 100-foot yacht." –Jimmy Fallon

"It's rumored that President Obama's chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, will leave the White House at the end of the year. He wants to spend more time screaming at his family." –Jimmy Fallon