Lindsay Lohan's Failed Drug Tests Could Derail Upcoming Film | TMZ.com

Lindsay Lohan's Failed Drug Tests Could Derail Her Promising Career in Softcore Porn

"The film's top people are 'beyond irritated by the recent developments' and 'there is a concern of her commitment to the work.'"

Yeah, the poor guys got fooled, because when they signed her, she had a reputation for sobriety and dependability which was second to none. They just knew they could count on her 100% commitment to work, and now she's like a completely different person.

Either that or they thought they were hiring Ted Koppel.

Now that I think about it, Koppel would always show up sober and on time, but I'm not sure he would be that good as Linda Lovelace. I'll have to reserve judgment until I see his audition tape. Now if they hired Christian Bale, then they could count on his complete commitment to the part. You know he'd have a sex change operation before shooting began, and he'd have studied the science of deep throating by living for months in a carnival with professional sword-swallowers.