Teen caught fucking a stuffed horse in Wal-Mart

Teen caught fucking a stuffed horse in Wal-Mart

This story is a great disappointment to me because "Fucking a Stuffed Horse" was supposed to be the working title of my autobiography, and now it's taken.

"The reshelved stuffed animal was deemed contaminated and not suitable for sale."

Interestingly, police have released a photo of the victim. Astoundingly, I did not make that up. In accordance with the standard procedure, however, the name of the victim has not been released.