In Just Three More Weeks: The Giant Pink Japanese Penis Festival

Only three weeks from today: The Giant Pink Japanese Penis Festival

Mark your calendars!

Every culture, of course, has its own calendar. The West, the Chinese and the Jewish people all celebrate a new year at different times, as do devout Scoopians. For me, tomorrow is New Year's Eve of the year 23, because the Scoopy New Year begins on what you more traditional people call March 14th, otherwise known as Steak and BJ Day.

The rest of our annual calendar, expressed in terms of your 2017 calendar so you can relate better:

March 22: William Shatner's birthday

April 2: Giant Pink Japanese Penis Day

Sept 19: Talk Like a Pirate Day

Sept 27: Wilford Brimley's birthday

Dec 23: Festivus

There's really a big gap between April and September. Maybe I need to add an official Estonian History Month.