Other Crap

Terrorists say they will kill Madonna if she performs in Israel. I know this isn't funny, so I'll pass on the obvious jokes about how the terrorists may not be as bad as we thought, and "the show must go on", and so forth. The terrorists also threatened to kill Madonna's babies. That really ain't good for any laughs.

• But I can't help but wonder which branch of Al-Qaeda keeps up on the world concert schedules. "OK, Kareem, while we go to attack the infidels, you surf the web for primo concert tickets. And we have to have really good seats, up close, with a clear sight-line to Madonna. If you can't get us in Tel Aviv, try the one in Motown. And if we can't get in to Madonna's concert, maybe we can kill Wayne Newton or David Hasselhoff instead." My God, I just thought - do you think the terrorists were behind the mauling incident with Roy and Siegfried? Is nothing sacred to them?