Other Crap

Last Week's quotables from Conan O'Brien

• "Colin Farrell has checked himself into a hospital to be treated for exhaustion. As a result, Farrell's nurse is now being treated for exhaustion."
• "According to a new scientific study, dogs can actually laugh. Apparently, dogs laugh hardest when they see a cat get kicked in the nuts."
• "This week suspended Philadelphia Eagle Terrell Owens threw a birthday party for himself and one of the people on the guest list was Paris Hilton. When asked why Paris was invited, Terrell said, 'Because like me, she knows what it's like to be screwed by the NFL.'"
• "Today a maintenance supervisor is being called a hero after he caught a baby that was thrown out of a burning building in the Bronx. They're not sure who the man is, but they are sure he doesn't play for the Jets."
• MY FAVORITE LINE OF THE WEEK: "It was reported today that this year Britney Spears was the most searched celebrity on the Internet. And once again this year, Snoop Dogg was the most searched celebrity at the airport."
• "This week, the Washington, D.C. production of 'The Nutcracker' was cancelled because the dancers went on strike. So once again, our nation's capital waits, paralyzed, a hostage of the all-powerful Ballerina's Union."