The Ex - The Filthy Critic

The Ex, as reviewed by the master of film criticism, Filthy

"Here's how The Ex was made: someone took a big shit. Someone else ate the shit, and then barfed it up. Then it sat until maggots infested it. It's at this point that some Hollywood grassfucker found it in a dumpster and thought it'd make a great movie. So he smeared it all over paper, and a whole other group of grassfuckers either read it and liked it, or didn't bother and just said they did. When it comes to comedy, the difference between the dipshits in L.A. who read a script and those who don't is zero. That city is infested with more humorless, screw-up-their-ass, self-interested half-witted dimfucks than the hookers by the railroad tracks are with crabs. At least the crabs are small and quiet. The movie parasites scurry around sucking off host projects, draining the life from original ideas, and clamping onto any project with a pulse. The Ex must have looked to them like a 500-pound man with vast forests of pubic hair as tall as the redwoods would to pubic lice. This movie has all the hallmarks of hackneyed, worthless, idle, greedy fuckwads with laptops. There is not a single fresh idea here, and it forgets to put punchlines on its setups. Instead, it's a sloppy assemblage of cruelty posing as humor, and premise as joke.