Belgium Doesn't Exist!

Belgium Doesn't Exist!

Oh, sure, there are those who think it does, but they are the same nutters who think there really is a South Dakota, which is really just a tax-evasion scam perpetrated by so-called "North" Dakota, which is really just plain old "Dakota."

"Not only would the Left have us believe in the existence of Belgium, they would have us think their illusory nation is a Shangri-La. Typical of the Liberal Media, we have been inundated with pro-Belgium propaganda: Belgians' alleged superiority in the art of chocolate making; the reputed nutritional value of 'Brussels sprouts'; how all quality diamonds can only be acquired through dealers in the mythical city of Antwerp; How 'french' fries are actually a Belgian invention; and the 'superior' martial artistry of Jean Claude Van Damme, the 'Muscles from Brussels.' Furthermore, Mystery! on PBS (need I say more?) regularly depicts Belgians -- such as Agatha Christie's 'Hercule Poirot' -- as personable sleuths who always outsmart non-Belgians and uncover pro-Belgium versions of 'The Truth.'"