Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"With the help of the American Civil Liberties Union, restroom enthusiast Idaho Senator Larry Craig will argue before an appeals court that his foot tapping ... was protected speech. He's calling himself 'Lord of the Toilet Dance.' ... I'm all for free speech, except in the men's room. In the men's room, I believe in no speech." --Jay Leno

"Forbes Magazine just released their list of the top earning dead celebrities. ... Elvis is number one. Number two dead celebrity, John Lennon. Number three, surprisingly, Larry King" --Jay Leno

"Last night during the Democratic presidential debate, Senator Barack Obama accused Hillary Clinton of frequently changing positions. After hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'I wish.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Dick Cheney went hunting this week. As part of his entourage he has an ambulance. This is true, he has an ambulance with him wherever he goes. This is very clever. See what he does is, he uses the ambulance to flush lawyers out into the open and then..." --Jay Leno

"How about Gerald Ford? Do you remember when Gerald Ford was president? And apparently after he was out of office, he was retired quite a long time before the man passed away, and he did a series of interviews with reporters and he said I'm going to tell you a lot of things now but don't print them, don't publish this until I'm gone. And now there's a new book with that title, 'Gerald Ford: Write it When I'm Gone,' and the insights and revelations are amazing, take a look. [Clip of announcer saying: "On September 8, 1974 I ended our long national nightmare by pardoning Richard Nixon. It was a difficult decision, but Nixon made it easier by offering $500 in cash and one night with Pat. This has been Gerald Ford, Write it when I'm gone."] Don't kid yourself, I hear Pat was a bobcat" --David Letterman

"For the record, I would never knowingly violate any federal election laws. Luckily, I don't know any federal election laws." --Stephen Colbert