Other Crap

Londoner 'attempted sex with fence' in Leicester Square

I dunno. I've never really tried to fuck any inanimate object, possibly excepting a girl I knew in Germany, but if I were going to, it would not be with an iron fence or a bicycle (like that guy last week). While many people know of Dr. Asimov's general laws of robotics, few realize that he also wrote a specific sub-set of those precepts called the laws of robot-fucking. Ever the visionary, Asimov anticipated a near future time when humans and robots would copulate, and realized that such contact required guidelines. The laws can easily be applied to other inanimate objects. (1) The inanimate object should be soft and have some "give." (2) The inanimate object should be moist. (3) The object should be warm. (4) The object should smell good, or at least not smell bad. (5) The object should have no sharp edges or adhesive surfaces (6) The object should have no moving parts which can threaten a penis.

Based on this, one might conclude that the kid in American Pie made a good choice. The bicycle guy ... not so much.