Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Well, the Pentagon announced a new policy aimed at reducing the stigma associated with seeing a psychiatrist. It says soldiers and military people who need counseling with a psychiatrist will no longer have to mention that when they apply for a job with a high security clearance. I think that's a good policy. Look, if you work for the Pentagon and you buy a hammer for $9,000, you should be able to see a psychiatrist." --Jay Leno

"I want to apologize to the administration. I forgot last Thursday was the fifth anniversary of President Bush's 'Mission Accomplished' declaration. I'm sorry! Usually on that day, I let the president dress up in a flight suit and land on me. But at least the White House has gained some perspective on that fateful day. Half a decade into the war, the one thing the Bush administration would have changed is the banner font. Should have gone with Times Courier, d'oh." --Jon Stewart

"Folks, today is Monday, which means tomorrow is Tuesday, which means it must be time for, 'Indecision '08, The Long Flat Seemingly Endless Bataan Death March to the White House.' The United States election is headed to Guam, where residents of our nation's 32nd largest island ... in your face Hinchinbrook Island, Alaska! ... got a chance to weigh in, reaping the benefits of America's 1944 retaking of the turd-shaped paradise. ... The margin would have been even closer, but the Ferguson's canoe got hit by a sea turtle." --Jon Stewart