Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Speaking of Sarah Palin, she said she's a life-long member of the National Rifle Association. Which may explain why she's in favor of shotgun weddings." --Conan O'Brien

"This week, John McCain was endorsed by the gay group known as the Log Cabin Republicans. That's true, yeah. They endorsed McCain not so much because he supports gay rights, but because he was actually born in a log cabin." --Conan O'Brien

"Sarah Palin likes assault rifles, has a collection of rifles, likes to shoot assault rifles. I'll say this for her daughter's boyfriend: the kid's got guts." --David Letterman

"Earlier tonight, I don't know if you saw it, Sarah Palin gave a tremendous speech to the Republicans, though some are claiming it was actually her daughter's speech." --David Letterman

"Hey, the Republican Convention is still going wild in scenic St. Paul, Minnesota right now. Alaska Governor and Vice Presidential nominee Sarah Palin was the star speaker tonight. A lot of excitement. She promised a walrus in every igloo and a whale tooth in every papoose." --Jimmy Kimmel

"Obviously, they're keeping the less popular Republicans out of the spotlight. President Bush gave a speech last night which couldn't have been more than five minutes long. Dick Cheney is in Azerbaijan, which I think is the farthest possible point from Minneapolis on the globe, and they actually locked Senator Larry Craig in the convention center men's room. Either that or he locked himself in, I'm not sure." --Jimmy Kimmel

"The whole extended Palin family arrived this morning in St. Paul. They even brought the high-school kid who knocked her daughter up along. His name is Levi Johnston. That's gotta be a fun trip for him with the in-laws." --Jimmy Kimmel

"And Governor Sarah Palin gave her speech tonight at the GOP Convention, and it gave people who didn't know anything about her the chance to finally meet her, you know, like John McCain." --Jay Leno

"And Fred Thompson spoke to the Republican Convention last night. You know something? I think he may have said a little too much. You ever get the thing where you get too much information? He was talking very candidly about John McCain, and we like John McCain, he was kinda a wild guy as a young man, was in the Navy and all that. Well here's what he had to say, listen carefully: [Video: Thompson: 'In high school and the Naval Academy, John earned the reputation as a trouble-maker. He was the leader of the trouble-makers. In Pensacola in flight school, he did drive a Corvette and date a girl who worked in a bar as an (hand quotes) exotic dancer under the name of Marie: The Flame of Florida.' Thompson soundalike: 'I remember after a card game in Yuma, he beat a couple of drifters with a tire-iron and left them for dead.'] I wouldn't have told that last story. I would've ended on the stripper." --Jay Leno