Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"Cold here in New York City today, so cold that Sarah Palin spent $150,000 on mittens." --David Letterman

"How about that Sarah Palin? A lot of people said, what will happen to her when she goes back to being the governor of Alaska? Don't worry: book deal, $7 million. She got it through a guy named Joe the Publisher." --David Letterman

"Seven million dollars. So maybe now she can afford her own clothing." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama is putting his team together to take over the Administration. So far, he's got his mother-in-law, who is going to be living with him, and they are talking about Hillary for Secretary of State. You have your mother-in-law and Hillary Clinton. Sounds like smooth sailing to me." --David Letterman

"Barack Obama says one of his top priorities once he becomes president is closing down Guantanamo Bay. To make sure it closes, he's going to turn it into a bank." --Jay Leno

"Happy birthday, convicted Senator Ted Stevens of Alaska, 85 years old. He didn't get any gifts. At least, he didn't report any." --Jay Leno

"You know what the definition of recession is? A recession is two consecutive quarters of declining productivity. Or, as the Clippers call that, 'halftime.'" --Jay Leno

David Letterman's Top Ten Things Overheard During Obama's Meeting With McCain

• 10. Oh, just preparing to be President. What have you been up to?
  
• 9. I know a guy who would be a perfect Secretary of Plumbing. ...