Other Crap

I'm sure there must be many reasons not to rape a raccoon. (Although I've always ignored them.) Here is the most persuasive.

If you wish to emulate my lion-hearted courage by raping a raccoon anyway, I must warn you that this behavior is frowned upon in most states north of Kentucky. I have learned from experience that your safest bet in the States is to go to Nevada.

If you prefer the foreign pleasures, Amsterdam actually has a special area of the zoo where the raccoons pose suggestively in the windows of their cages. It's just icing on the cake that you can toke up as well.

I'm not sure if you're allowed to get the raccoons high.