Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"It looks like more than 13,000 people were caught up in that Bernard Madoff Ponzi scheme. You know what a Ponzi scheme is? That's where you throw good money after bad, or as the government calls it, a stimulus package." --Jay Leno

"People are sick and tired of the cold weather. Here's how cold it was today in Washington, D.C. Vice President Joe Biden put his foot in his mouth just to keep it warm." --David Letterman

"Monday is the Westminster Kennel Club's 133rd Annual Dog Show. As you know, these just aren't regular dogs. These dogs are scrutinized and gone over, literally, with a fine-tooth comb. And here's how they're judged: appearance; silky coat; firm hindquarters. It's also how John McCain chose his running mate." --David Letterman

"So every dog is groomed, blow-dried and flea-dipped. You know, it's the same thing they did to former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich for the impeachment trial." --David Letterman

"In a statement released Friday, Republican Senator James Inhofe said the economic recovery bill is 93 percent spending and 7 percent stimulation, which, coincidentally, is the exact same formula used to bring Nancy Pelosi to orgasm." --Seth Meyers

"At a Groundhog Day ceremony at the Staten Island Zoo on Monday, New York Mayor Mike Bloomberg was bitten on the finger by a groundhog, which means six more weeks of winter for us, and six pounds of fresh groundhog meat for the zoo's lions." --Seth Meyers