Late Night Political Jokes - Late Night Jokes Updated Daily

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"We had quite a night last night. We had the president, Barack Obama, on the show. I tell you, the security was unbelievable last night. We had several of those German Shepherds, you know those bomb-sniffing dogs? And I tell you, once they got near the NBC prime-time lineup, they went crazy. Just went nuts." --Jay Leno

"People made a big deal out of the fact this is the first time a sitting president has done a late-night show. We tried to have other presidents on, but President Bush went to bed every night at 9:00. And President Clinton always seemed to have other late-night plans." --Jay Leno

"Senator Chris Dodd -- or 'Chris Dodge,' as they're calling him now -- after first denying it, now admits he's the one who eliminated the provision in the stimulus package that outlawed excessive bonuses. And coincidentally, he just happened to receive $280,000 from AIG in campaign contributions. What are the odds of that? Man, that's like putting Chris Brown in charge of the battered women's shelter." --Jay Leno

"Last night, President Obama's appearance on the 'Tonight Show' got huge ratings. So, to promote his upcoming book, President Bush will appear on 'The Biggest Loser.'" --Jimmy Fallon

"Not only is it the first time they have had a vegetable garden since the days of Eleanor Roosevelt at the White House, it's also the first time that a hoe has been used at the White House since the Clinton administration." --Jimmy Kimmel (Well played, Kimmel!)

"You saw what happened in San Diego yesterday? There were these two drug dealers the cops were chasing on the freeway, and they started to throw all the money out the window. The cops were not suspicious -- they thought it was Obama's motorcade." --Bill Maher