Report: Still Hard Out Here For A Pimp - Borowitz Report

Scientists report that it is still hard out there for a pimp

"Interviews with the pimps themselves paint a bleak picture of the state of pimping in 2009 America. 'After looking at the pimps' concerns and complaints, we can only come to one reasonable conclusion,' writes the University of Minnesota's Dr. Davis Logsdon, who supervised the study. 'And that is, it's still hard out here for a pimp.'

"Based on the data, there is every reason to believe that the key factors making it hard out here for a pimp - in particular, bitches jumpin' ship and bitches talkin' shit - will continue to plague the pimping sector going forward," he said.