Other Crap

Late Night Political Jokes Updated

"I guess you heard about that kid that tried to blow up the plane on Christmas Day with a bomb he had hidden in his underwear. Before he could get the bomb lit, some hero passengers grabbed him. They dragged him into first class. I had no idea that's how you got upgraded on Delta." Jay Leno

"Rush Limbaugh is OK after being released from a Hawaiian hospital after a heart scare. Fox News sent flowers; MSNBC sent cheese fries." Jay Leno

"Has everybody here seen 'Avatar?' Great movie, wasn't it? Even President Obama took his family to see it at a private screening in Hawaii. After the movie, Obama was like, 'So that's what it's like when something lives up to its hype.'" Jimmy Fallon

"You guys hear this? Rush Limbaugh was released from a hospital in Hawaii two days after suffering from chest pains. He's fine. Doctors say they don't know what caused it, but it may have something to do with being an overweight man whose job is being enraged." Jimmy Fallon

"Even if the bomb works, there's going to be 72 very disappointed virgins." Jon Stewart on the Underwear Bomber