An excellent rant by "Tyler"
"California is, without question, the worst place on earth. Everything is illegal, everything is taxed, everything is 5000 times harder than it should be. Unless you're a no-parking sign, because apparently those have an entire branch of government dedicated to ensuring their safety.
Heather Locklear was arrested for allegedly hitting a no-parking sign on a public street early Saturday morning near her gated-community home in Ventura County, Calif., and left without notifying anyone, police say....
Who knows how many resources were used to bring this sign-driver-intoer to justice but it was all worth it. We've taken back the streets from this blood-thirsty maniac!"
Scoop's notes: For those of you scoring at home, it seems that it is illegal in California to leave the scene after you have accidentally hit a traffic sign, and they will even use the forensics lab to track you down, something rarely seen on CSI. So, let's imagine you are out in the desert near Barstow and you accidentally brush against an orange cone or something. If you are a too poor to own a cell phone or just an old dude who doesn't care for cell phones, you must just wait there until either the police happen to pass by or you die and are eaten by vultures.Speaking of "no parking" signs, my fictional alter ego's full name is "Scoop" Parking. His full Christian name is N. Robert Parking. The "N" stands for "no." When his mother was a girl in Texas, she was extremely impressed by people who had their own reserved parking places, so she named her two sons "No" and "Two-hour," so there would always be spaces marked off for them in every town. He was not named "Scoop" until after he began his legendary career in journalism as the Carl Bernstein of the shopping inserts. Scoop's childhood friends call him "No Bob."
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Heather Locklear is under arrest
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It said no parking so why was she parking on it? Maybe there is more to this then we know. Was she drinking? Drugs? Thought the bald headed man that was pan handling on the the corner was really Charlie Sheen? Also in her neighborhood, the Onstar built into the signs alerted the police that it had been hit in the first place. There was no CSI investigation. That would have been a waste of taxpayer money.
ReplyDeleteIt would only be speculation, but if I had to guess, I'd say that I'd be more far likely to call in something like that if I was sober than if I was incapacitated. Much better to get a possible misdemeanor ticket than a certain DWI.
ReplyDeleteAssuming that she was drunk is probably reasonable, but only reasonable, not certain, and there's no proof.