Sex and the City - The Filthy Critic

Sex and the City 2, reviewed by The Filthy Critic. He felt it was a true masterpiece.

Sheer genius. One of the best movie reviews ever written:

"In Sex and the City 2, it was refreshing to see four old women recognize and understand that they are too old and hideous to pretend to still be attractive young women. One look at their weathered faces and receding gumlines and I could tell they didn't even bother with makeup this time around. Their faces have more topography than Kohistan. It's brave for them to be on the big screen, telling the world, 'We're barely human anymore. Suck it.' The ladies are also more bitter than a quart of chemo patient bile. After years of phony friendships and feigned compassion, they finally unleash their barely contained hatred."

"The plot is about the women being whisked away from their subterranean lair in New York City with the promise of an all-expenses-paid trip to Dubai. It allows them to be fish out of water for a change. As with all of these free trip scams, the trip isn't what it seems. Rather than being transported first class, the girls are sent in the holding pen of a slow tanker where they are forced to wallow in the shit of livestock. I'm not going to spoil the movie for the fans, so I will only say two of the girls fuck a goat. I won't reveal which, or which one loses an eye in a catfight over that same animal. It was fun to watch, though. My favorite boat scene here was when, in desperation, the girls catch and eat rats to stay alive. Nothing makes me happier than watching these four women on all fours, filthy and tired, grasping for rodents in the hay."

"Parker, et al are still hopeful that a luxurious hotel awaits them with warm showers to wash off the urine they soaked themselves in, only some intentional. Davis overhears the ship's crew, however, and learns the girls aren't headed for a four-star resort, but instead to be sold into slavery. At first the girls are horrified. Catttrall, however, convinces them that it will be sexual slavery and, that, for the first time in ages, men will want them."

"I don't want to spoil the movie for the big Sex and the City fans, but they die. They die gruesome, bloody deaths, one at a time. I won't reveal the details, but will let you know that it's so, so very satisfying. To see them dangling in the wind, lifeless in a barren desert, brought the same thrill as seeing Humphrey Bogart play Philip Marlowe. It's that just right."